


I just wish you were here

by j_essyeap



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Exes, F/F, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Modern AU, New Year's Eve, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28615344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_essyeap/pseuds/j_essyeap
Summary: Asami was fine. She really was. How long had it been now? Eighteen months? Nineteen, maybe? She wasn’t even counting anymore, that’s how fine she was. So what the actual fuck was her business being anxious about the moment Korra would leave Opal’s arms and come to hers instead?
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato
Comments: 19
Kudos: 188





	I just wish you were here

**Author's Note:**

> Look, it's me again. I'm in love with this pairing, I can't get enough of them.  
> So, last year (ehehehe) I got the writing bug but didn't know what to write about, so I asked my friend for a prompt and her answer was the title of this story.  
> I kinda gave up on it, cause it wasn't really flowing, but then I read "It's always been you", by ravensgrounder (I don't know how to make this a link), which is also an Exes AU and I fell back into this one-shot.  
> I'm now pretty happy about how it turned out.  
> Hope you like it.

Asami was fine. She really was. How long had it been now? Eighteen months? Nineteen, maybe? She wasn’t even counting anymore, that’s how fine she was. It’s just that last year she didn’t have to go through this. Last year, she was the one that went away. And, if she’s being honest about it, she’s not even sure if this is something that they’ve consciously decided or a coincidence. But last year, she went away and Korra came to one of these.

This year, however, Korra was traveling somewhere and Asami got to come to New Year’s Eve in Tenzin’s. Everyone’s there - Korra being the only exception, as foretold - everyone Asami loved was there. Bolin, Mako, Tenzin’s family, including his siblings, Lin and Suyin, and her whole family, gosh, even Varrick and Zhu Li were there. And it was just - too much. Too close to home, too close to before.

Asami wasn’t feeling like an outsider, no. Those were her family, too. Some of them she had known before she got to meet Korra. Pema, for instance, was a family friend of her parents. Opal, she had met in university, Mako and Bolin, she couldn’t even recall for how long they had known each other. No, she wasn’t the ‘Ex’ in this situation. She’s home.

 _Nevertheless, it’s too close to what it used to be._ And she’s starting to feel sad. No, nostalgic maybe? Who the fuck knows, she was simply with all her might trying not to admit, not to open her mouth and spills the words out of nowhere in the middle of a conversation which she wasn’t participating for so long now that Opal was staring at her with a worried expression. She wasn’t going to say the words-

“I just wish that she was here.” Asami had meant to sigh, the words coming out of her mouth as if they had a mind of their own.

“Who?” Was Opal’s confused answer, because they’ve been drinking quite a lot and because it’s been so long and Asami was so certain that she was over Korra that even her best friend believed her.

And she was, wasn’t she? Over Korra, that is. It’s been nineteen fucking months since that unforgiving summer when Korra had told her they should part ways, when they had been drifting away so subtly that Asami was neither surprised nor devastated. Sure, she had been goddamn sad at the moment and she had felt powerless, worthless and so furiously lost afterward, but they _had_ been drifting apart, indeed. So much so that, when the first moment of shock had come and gone - along with every worst bit of a breakup, she was... not a mess. She was ok, maybe a bit numb even. She had realized then that she must have fallen out of love with Korra sometime over the six years of their relationship. They both had. Somewhere between the absence of novelty and taking each other for granted, they had lost each other.

The breakup _per se_ had been peaceful. They had both kept a friendly distance from each other, rather understandably, but there hadn’t been a fight, nor bad words, or trying to hurt each other over their own pain. They were adults, they had acted like it. They had the same social circle and of course, they had seen each other after, and those occasions had always left Asami feeling mournful afterward, but it was expected, and she had always been able to bring herself back to the normal level of acceptance. She was not heartbroken.

But New Year’s Eve had always been special for them. A new year, three hundred and sixty-five days ahead of them where they got to be together and build their lives together and build their lives apart in companionship. That, after the melancholy of Christmas Eve, when Asami got nostalgic about her parents and Korra missed hers so deeply, away as they were, always got them in a very specific hopeful mood to come to Tenzin’s, to be close to the people _they_ loved. The people they had _chosen_ to love and to celebrate the year that had passed and the one that was coming, with them.

There was simply _so much_ of Korra in Bolin’s silly jokes and in the way Mako tried to look way too responsible for a night like this. Too much of Korra in the way Tenzin asked Asami about her life and in how Pema kept telling Asami to get herself another drink. Too much of Korra in the way the twins were always bickering at each other, so much so as Lin and Suyin. There was a metaphorical gap between Jinora, Kiki, and Meelo where Korra would usually stand when they were competing for something. Kya wouldn’t leave Lin’s side tonight, and Asami kept wishing to tell Korra that she’d probably won the bet they had going about their relationship being non-platonic. So much of Korra in the way Opal kept by her side, despite her boyfriend, as they drank the night away. New year’s Eve was simply too much of both of them and Asami couldn’t help but feel... like a mess.

“Nevermind. I’m just... thinking out loud.” Was her long-overdue answer to Opal’s question.

Opal eyed her suspiciously as a glimpse of recognition met her eyes, but she let it pass. “Ok, then, let’s drink one more? It’s eleven already, we’re almost there.”

.

Asami was halfway through her drink listening to Mako’s for once not boring story about his job when she felt before she saw that something had changed in the room. The pull she felt on her back had no place to be there, her heart racing after the beats it had skip because she hadn’t even turned towards the door before knowing, probably unconsciously that the person that had been inexplicably haunting her mind the whole night was entering the diner room that exact moment and her deep blue eyes were glued in Asami’s when she finally turned her head towards the entrance. “Korra.” Again, a sigh turned into words coming out of her mouth.

Mako, Bolin, and Opal followed her eyes to the door, all smiles as they confirmed that Korra had indeed just gotten there. The brothers had smiles, that is, Asami reckoned her best friend had noticed her uneasiness through her tone and general behavior during the night, because instead of following Bolin and Mako to greet Korra, she stayed behind, touched Asami’s hand, prompting Asami to break the eye contact and turn to her instead. “Are you gonna be alright?” Her tone was low, but not too worried. “I didn’t know she’s coming tonight, but everything’s been fine between you, right?”

Asami had to blink what felt like a hundred times to gather the presence of mind to answer Opal, yet again. “Yeah, no, we’re fine.” But apparently, it wasn’t a hundred percent true, if the effort she was currently making to not look back to Korra was anything to go by. She was not ready, however, to share this piece of information with Opal, since she didn’t exactly know what it meant herself. Wasn’t she over Korra? “I’m just-, surprised. I wasn’t expecting her either.” Opal searched her eyes for a while and Asami nodded and smiled to assure her she would be ok.

Opal didn’t seem to buy it completely but squeezed her hand before guiding the other one, holding the glass, towards her mouth. “Ok, let’s finish this drink and get another one, cause I’ve got the feeling this night just got way more interesting than _I_ was expecting.”

She thought about arguing that Opal was imaging things, but she reckoned there was no point in trying to convince her further. Plus, going to the bar gave Asami an excuse to delay greeting Korra for a few minutes, and she found that she needed the extra time.

Those extra minutes were not enough, however, because it seemed that, after beating the riptide of people wanting to know what she was doing there since she was supposed to be traveling to god knows where, Korra’s priority was to come and meet Asami and Opal in the bar. “Hey, guys, you’ve got the best spot in the party all to yourselves.” Asami gulped when Korra greeted them, discreetly trying not to choke on her drink.

“Hey, Korra!” Opal saved Asami from the embarrassment of speaking with her throat raw. “What the fuck, babe? I thought you were somewhere in Central America for the New Year’s.” She hugged Korra and Asami caught Korra’s eyes on hers right before she closed them to hug Opal back. Korra smiled through the hug, she seemed happy to be there.

This was not one of those moments when you look at someone you’ve loved a long time ago and notice everything different about them and feel a hot feeling in your heart, some kind of reminiscent of a feeling long forgotten. Korra looked the same as Asami remembered from a couple of months ago. She had the same jovial vibe Asami used to love waking up to. Her skin still seemed warm and soft, her hair as short as it had been when they had broken-up. She was the same person Asami didn’t love anymore, so what the actual fuck was her business being anxious about the moment Korra would leave Opal’s arms and come to hers instead?

“That was my plan, yeah. But I don’t know, a few days ago everything started going so incredibly wrong with my trip.” Korra spoke as Opal released her. “I mean, I lost a plane and was pickpocketed, and then I was in San Rose having just the worst day when I stumbled my fucking pinky on the bedside table and I was through.” She chuckled. “That was it for me, I knew I had to come back and be here.” _Well, that was some bullshit if Asami knew any._

“You’re kidding, right?” Opal asked, but Korra shrugged dismissively before turning to Asami.

Asami’s greeting got caught up in her throat as she saw the smile Korra gave her before greeting her. “Hey, you.” It was a shy one. One of Asami’s favorite, without a doubt. One that used to be reserved for her and her only. Back when they still flirted with each other. Back when Asami’s confidence could still make Korra lose her footing, back when Korra would say the silliest things to make her laugh. Back when Korra _loved_ her.

Asami’s smirk was certainly a knee-jerk response, but she was grateful for the part of her body that knew how to not absolutely lose all of her shit over a freaking smile. “Hey, yourself.” They reached for each other at the same time and there she was again making a conscious effort not to bury her whole face in Korra’s neck and actually _inhale_ Korra’s scent because that would be weird and very counter-productive.

Nevertheless, the hug lasted a few seconds longer than it was necessary and as they released each other, Opal was asking the bartender a drink for Korra and didn’t notice Korra’s hand lingering on Asami’s hips. Her hands had left Asami’s body, but her eyes kept on her for a while longer and that would be normal since they were still interacting. “How are you doing?” But Asami had been with Korra for six fucking years. She knew how to read every single expression, every single look, every single word her face was able to communicate non-verbally. Or so she thought. Because... Because Korra wouldn’t possibly be-.

“I’m fine.” Asami answer trying to shut her mind and fully participate in a conversation for once that night. “I’m taking a few days off, for a change. No work during the Holidays.”

At that, Korra raised her eyebrows. “Wow, look at ya! Lazing around?” She chuckled. “How’s that going? Dying of boredom already?”

Asami rolled her eyes, mockingly. “No, I’ve died already. What you see is just my bored spirit.”

Korra released a full-body laugh at that and Asami felt her heart fluttering at the sound. “You’re looking snazzy for a ghost.”

She was, indeed, she knew she was, but coming from Korra, she couldn’t help the blush that colored her face. She was saved from answering by Opal, once again, who had returned to the conversation and handed Korra her drink. “So, tell me about your trip. I want to know it all.”

.

The countdown came and went. There were a lot of hugs - including a faster one, from Korra - and heartfelt words exchanged between everyone. As the night went on, Asami started to drink a bit more carefully, no way she’d be getting drunk in her current emotional state, better to stay on the sober side. She succeeded in not dwelling on Korra’s mixed signs when she had first gotten to the party and it was made easier by the fact that Korra didn’t try anything similar to that first moment of greeting. Maybe it had been Asami’s imagination, after all.

They had kept close, nevertheless. It was expected since they’d usually stay around the same people, and it was pretty normal for them. They had hung out like that a few times after ending their relationship. Being around Korra with Opal, Mako, Bolin and the twins was good, it felt right, like home. Asami was finally able to rest her mind and enjoy the night for what it was. A moment to celebrate the end of the year and wish good omens for the next.

She still found Korra’s eyes lingering on hers, however, more often than not. Mostly, Asami would slip a glimpse and find Korra’s eyes already on hers, but sometimes she’d catch her ex checking her body, as well. When their eyes would meet, Korra’d only look away when someone spoke to her, a contemplative expression on her face and she’d take longer to finally answer the person that had spoken to her. Asami tried not to dwell on that either.

Mako and Bolin were already on the drunk side of the equation, but Korra wasn’t, she had gotten there later than the brothers, after all. But that didn’t prevent her from doing dumb shit with them when Bolin challenged them to an arm-wrestling competition, for old times sake.

That was the moment Opal took to get real. “Hey, you sure you okay?” She and Asami were sitting alone at a table. Opal had drunk several drinks more than Asami, but she was surprisingly immune to alcohol, her eyebrows were furrowed and her tone was, once again, low. “I’ve caught more than one meaningful glance being thrown your way, and you didn’t seem to be unresponsive.”

 _Ooof, right to the point, aren’t we?_ Asami took a deep breath and sighed before answering. Maybe Opal could put some sense back into her mind? “I don’t know what to tell you.” She decided to be sincere. “I’d been thinking about her the whole night, and you know me, you know it, I’m not hung up on her, but-, I don’t know, this night was being particularly hard on me in that sense.” She paused, watching Korra sheering for Bolin while he wrested Mako for the second time. “And then, out of fucking Central America, apparently, there she is and she’s been-, well, you said it yourself. She’s been flirty?”

“Asami, honey, do you really wanna go there? Do you think it’s a good idea?” Opal was all over her now, leaning closer to Asami, maybe not as sober as Asami first thought, but still a hundred percent present. “I mean, I know that you guys never had a remember sesh, but it’s been so long. Do you think it’s safe? I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“What? No, there won’t be any of that. I don’t think that’s possible. And I’m fine, I swear, I’m not hurting.” She sipped her drink to gather her thoughts. “We’re probably just imagining things.” She settled, now watching Korra’s goddamn arms flexing while she beat Wing. _We’re probably imagining_ different _things, though. Goddamnit, are Korra’s arms getting thicker somehow?_

Opal released an outrageous sound. “I’m not imagining anything. I saw what I saw, and you know you did, too. So you better decide for yourself how you want this night to end while you’re still sober, cause I know you’re into her. Maybe not in a deep sense, but you’re into her, your eyes don’t lie.”

Asami thought Opal was taking things out of proportion. Ok, Korra _had_ been looking her way more than usual, but it didn’t matter what it meant, they were way too old for that kind of thing, and their story was way too complicated for them to simply indulge in hooking up once eighteen months after breaking up simply because they were feeling lonely or horny. So she dismissed Opal’s efforts and kept minding her business for the rest of the night.

.

It was around three in the morning, the room now empty but for the people sitting on their table when Wei unknowingly decided to make Asami take her leave for the night. “So, hey Korra, you’re traveling around for over a month now, tell me, have you also slept around? How are the chicks in Central America?”

It was hardly something that you wouldn’t expect from Wei, the guy was kind of a dick, thanks to his looks and his condition of being rich and a twin, but it erupted complaints around the table, nevertheless. _“C’mon, Wei, how old are you?”_ Was Mako’s reactions and even his brother facepalmed. Opal, however, looked Asami’s way discreetly and gave her a sympathetic smile. Asami tried to dismiss it at the same time she fought the appetizer she had been chewing down her throat and the desire to look Korra’s way to wait for an answer she already knew she shouldn’t want to know.

“Yeah, I’m not answering that.” She deadpanned, but her tone was shy and Asami knew that if she looked Korra’s way, she would probably find her touching her neck nervously. She looked anyway, just to confirm her thoughts, and caught Korra’s eyes averting hers just before they met.

Asami called it a night soon after that, waiting a bit so it wouldn’t be obvious. When she got to her room for the night, she threw herself face down on her bed. The night had been so fucking weird. She didn’t feel like herself at all. She had been acting oddly since before Korra had gotten to the meeting, but _oh my god_ if she hadn’t behaved like a teenager after she had. All the lingering looks and the few unnecessary touches, the occasional flirting, and every single thought that had passed her mind after her eyes had first found Korra’s.

Wasn’t she over her? She had been for a while now, she’s sure. But now that she was all by herself she couldn’t deny how much she wanted to _feel_ Korra. Korra’s eyes on her, her hands on her, her full attention. Tonight had been like before, in the first years of their relationship when they only had eyes for each other and it had felt exhilarating. How come she got to feel this way again after so long? How could Korra still make her feel like the only person in a room full of other people?

Nothing was making sense, and she was almost feeling ready to get up and put on her pajamas, leave this night behind, tomorrow she’d probably be back to the rational being she usually was, when she heard a low knock on the door. Her head left the bed immediately because, once again, she knew who it was before even opening the door. “Asami? Are you awake?” She heard Korra’s low voice muffled by the closed door.

Asami left the bed faster than she’d like to admit but refrained herself from giving much thought to her appearance before going to the door, simply resettling her dress on her way. She didn’t know what Korra wanted to talk about but decided not to let her hopes up.

Korra was standing a few feet away from the door herself as if she had taken a few steps back after hearing Asami approach. She looked nervous, as she gave Asami a once over, noticeably relieved to not have woken Asami up. “Would you- Can we talk?” Her hands hanging in fists on the side of her body, her demeanor tense.

Asami breathed easier at the sight. She didn’t know what she would have done if she had opened her door to a relaxed, flirting Korra instead. “Yeah, sure.” But before she could make way to invite Korra to come in, she noticed Korra turning her body slightly away from her room, in an open invitation to move away from it. Asami took it immediately. It didn’t matter what Korra wanted to talk about, any topic would be tainted by the presence of the bed after a whole night of stolen glances.

Korra led her to the gardens, they walked in silence, preferring not to make too much noise in the hallway, where most doors were being occupied by their sleeping friends. The night was obviously cold and she didn’t have time to embrace herself before she noticed Korra handing her a thick, navy blue jacket that Asami hadn’t noticed she was holding.

They took cover in a less windy part of the garden and sat on a wooden bench facing halfway forward and halfway to each other. Korra sighed and took the time to study Asami before smiling fondly. Asami answered similarly, her own nerves relaxing in the process.

“So, how are you, for real?” Korra asked, turning her body to face her more directly. “I hope this is alright and that I didn’t freak you out, knocking on your door in the middle of the night, half-drunk.” She furrowed her eyebrows and chuckled lightly. “I don’t know. I think-” She released an audible sigh, frustrated. “I just... damn, I don’t know how to word this. I just wanted to talk to you. It’s that simple. I wanted to know how you’re doing.” Korra shrugged.

Despite Korra’s sudden inability to use words, Asami knew what she meant. She knew _exactly_ what she meant. It was not unusual for them, this sudden urge to check-in on each other. At least, it wasn’t unusual when they had been together. Communication is a big part of a relationship and people often don’t even realize that a lot of the problems they have in their relationship could be easily solved by an honest and trusting exchange of perspectives. People’s thought processes are different, and sometimes something obvious for you wouldn’t be as much to any other person.

So Asami recognized this moment for what it was. Korra wanted to check-in on her, and she welcomed the effort, honestly and trusting as she used to. If there was someone who knew what was happening, or in the very least was so confused as she was, it was definitely Korra. “I’m doing fine, not much happening in my life, lately, other than work stuff. Things in the company are ok, for a change. Not as much drama as it’s normal at this time of the year.” She raised her fist mockingly. “That’s the reason I’m taking the holidays off. My board practically implored me to stay home and chill.”

Korra raised her eyebrows. “Wow, I didn’t expect this from them. Were you working that much?”

Asami had a guilty expression on her face. “Yeah, quite a lot. This year was a big one for us, things kept happening and I kept taking them, you know how I get.” She rolled her eyes as Korra nodded profusely, a smirk on her face. “It got to the point, I think it was in October or maybe November, that I spend almost two weeks living in my office and visiting my loft. Rita went as far as pulling my ears over it and that’s when I noticed that I was maybe going too hard and started to take some time off during the weekends.”

Korra’s expression was a mix of worry and relief. “Well, thank God for Rita, then.” She teased. “I’m glad that you’re taking this time off, though.” She seemed to want to say more but refrained from doing so. Asami thought that she probably knew why. Back when they were together, Korra always worried about her health, and overall, took care of Asami when she was losing grip of how much work she was doing. Anything she added to that topic, would hit too close to that time.

“And you? How have you been doing? You’re the one that’s been traveling around.” She smiled, trying to change the topic to something lighter. “I didn’t know you finally got to visit Central America. I’m happy for you, I remember how much you wanted to go.” Asami noticed her mistake as she said the last sentence because it was not a true statement. Yes, Korra had been wanting to go to Central America for a while now, but they were planning to take the trip together. Until tonight, Asami wasn’t aware of where Korra was, she hadn’t even known Korra wasn’t in the city until before the holidays and when she had found out, she didn’t ask where she was, assuming she’d probably be visiting her parents. But now that she had said those words, she couldn’t help to feel sad. Not that she thought that Korra shouldn’t have gone without her, that would be absurd, but the fact Korra had done something they were planning to do together by herself, gave her a sense of resolution that, in that particular night, she wasn’t ready to face.

She tried her best to keep a straight face, though but was relieved from the burden immediately by Korra’s demeanor. She deviated her eyes, looking at her own hands, instead, now jointed and resting on her legs. “Yeah?” Her tone was low, almost afflict. Her eyes met Asami’s again and her next words were released under a sigh. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, though.”

And there it was, that first leap of faith one of them would have to take to stir the conversation into deeper territory. Asami knew it wasn’t easy doing so, having done similarly before, that one frozen second when you stand between the cliff and the open fall, where you choose to put yourself out there, being honest about what you feel and trusting the other person with your pain, your shame, your sorrow, your _truth_. Trusting them to try to understand, trusting them not to use it against you, and trusting them to, as much as it doesn’t hurt themselves along the way, try and help you reach any type of balance, of peace.

Asami wasn’t surprised that Korra had taken that role in this conversation, she seemed to have planned this conversation ahead if the jacket she had brought Asami was anything to go by, but not being surprised didn’t mean not getting affected by her words. Her heart was racing, which was justifiable for the first time that night, and she lost her words for a while.

“And I didn’t mean it in an ‘I couldn’t enjoy it without you’ kind of way.” Korra rushed to explain. “I-, I had fun. I loved almost every moment of my trip, it was so much more than what I was expecting. It’s just-, I don’t know. Everywhere I went, every place I visited, I kept thinking of how much better it would be if you were there with me.” Asami instinctively reached for Korra’s hand, unconsciously trying to soothe Korra’s anxiety through action, since her words seemed to have left her. “And I kept thinking ‘Is it the trip? Is it the time of the year?’, cause, I know it was my call to end things between us, and I thought I had made the right choice, I was-.” Korra paused, blinking what looked like tears out of her eyes. “I had been fine until that moment. But then all of the sudden I wasn’t anymore and I started asking myself if I had been truly fine or if I was just-, pushing through, living with my choices and, I don’t know Asami, I don’t know where I’m getting at, I just-,” Korra squeezed her hand and Asami scooted closer in response. “I just really fucking miss you.” She scrunched her face, closing her eyes, and that time, Asami was sure she saw tears rolling from her eyes. “And I feel bad because tonight when I got here I was all over you, and I know it’s a douche move cause I’m the one who ended things between us, but the moment I saw you tonight, it was like-,” She chuckled sourly. “Oh my god, it was like I was seeing you for the first time, and I just needed to get closer to you, to feel ya, and I’m like ‘what the fuck is happening to me?’, and that’s the whole point, Asami, cause I don’t know. I really don’t fuckin-“

Korra’s lips were salty, mixed with the tears she was just crying, and the combination of the misplaced flavor, along with something that was entirely Korra’s, and the aftermath of everything Korra had just told her, brought fireworks behind Asami’s eyelids. Yes, the kiss had been sudden, but it wasn’t something that Asami had done out of pure instinct, or because she didn’t know what else to do. Well, yeah, she probably wouldn’t know how to answer Korra just yet, had she not kissed her instead, but the fact is, they were at the same place, metaphorically speaking. Feeling things they didn’t understand, wanting things they had stopped wanting a long time ago, missing each other, aching for each other, and thoroughly confused by the meaning of all those feelings. So that line of action seemed the most practical way to figure things out. Asami had always been a pragmatic person. At least, that’s how her brain had _convinced_ itself that kissing Korra was the right thing to do. Maybe she just really wanted to do so.

She heard and felt and tasted Korra taking a deep breath between kisses, as her hand moved to the back of Asami’s head, pulling her closer, fingers intertwining with a few locks on her hair, blunt nails scratching her scalp. It felt so fucking right, as Korra’s teeth took her lips between them, biting them lightly. Asami couldn’t quite believe her senses as she felt Korra’s whole being melting and molding around hers, before pulling apart and looking at her and smiling at her, touching her cheeks, her jaw, her lips. Asami knew, she _knew_ they should be talking instead, but she decided to enjoy that moment a while longer, of having Korra close to her, being able to touch and being touched by her, something she didn’t even know she had missed this much, something she thought she had lost for good and was naive enough to think she didn’t care.

“Korra,” Asami said, meaning to distance herself from Korra before she lost herself in the woman in front of her, but her mouth was suddenly touching Korra’s ear, sucking and biting and Korra was shivering and the breath she released rested between a sigh and a moan. That’s when Asami took a breath of her own and the flooding feeling of Korra’s scent brought her back to Earth. Nothing more grounding than smelling someone and being brought to the realization that it smelt like love. It smelt like silly jokes and lopsided grins, smelt like being brought breakfast in bed and late-night conversations about life, and the universe and society. It smelt like waking up with limbs all over her and cooking together in perfect harmony. It smelt like long showers together, bickering over the temperature of the water and it smelt like being hopelessly, undeniably _in love_.

The epiphany had the effect her words had fail to achieve and she distanced herself from Korra, rather suddenly, blinking hard, focusing her eyes on a surprised Korra, her lips parted and swollen. She brought both her hands to one of Asami’s, as if afraid she was going to run. But Asami wasn’t ready to speak just yet. So she used Korra’s hold in her hand to pull her up to her feet. She blinked and they were kissing again. Kissing and walking, her room an afterthought of a destination.

They probably took way longer than they would have if their attention had been in the halls they were walking in. The bright side was that they were successful in making as little noise as they possibly could, lips busy as they were. Asami only noticed her surroundings again when she felt her body falling on top of Korra’s. Her ex had blindly guided them to her room, instead.

Loving Korra again felt like coming home, after a long trip abroad. It felt like reentering your old room or feeling the sunlight in a specific corner of your living room at a specific time of the day, as she straddled Korra’s thighs, undressing her and watching Korra’s fascination while she undressed her afterward. It felt like finding your belongings stacked on a shelf, curiously going through them and finding something that you had forgotten was there and feeling contentment in rediscovering it, as she ran her tongue over Korra’s neck and sucked it lightly, feeling Korra twitching under her, her blunt nails squeezing her thighs. Having her ears being filled by Korra’s moans and whimpers and pleads felt like lying in your bed for the first time again, feeling the bed molding around your body as you rest your head in your pillow.

Asami was drowning in all of these sensations, mind blank, eyes rendered to virtual uselessness as her other senses took the front of her consciousness. She didn’t need them. She knew Korra as she knew the back of her hand. She knew every single corner of her body, where to touch, when to hold tighter, where to suck, where to lick, how strong to bite. She could read Korra with her ears and talk to her with her own body.

“Asami.” Was the first word one of them said in what felt like ages. She was still on top of Korra, and she opened her eyes to find Korra’s on hers, lustful and pleading. Her hair was a mess and her lips were stained with Asami’s lipstick. Asami couldn’t help the smile that grew on her lips. “Will you fuck me, already?” Then, she was cackling, because she knew she had been deferring. She had been driving Korra crazy, feeling every centimeter of her body, revisiting every secret she had unearthed all those years they had been together, she couldn’t help herself. She had missed this.

She conceded, a bit because Korra had asked her so nicely and a bit because she was giving Asami a laugh of her own, the most beautiful of sights. But the main reason was that she could feel Korra’s arousal staining her stomach right now, her legs wrapped around Asami’s waist, and she couldn’t wait to taste her again and make her come in her mouth.

Asami kissed her before beginning her descent, sloppy, hungry, as her fingers started an exploration of their own, all the way down in Korra’s center. Korra released a relieved sigh when she felt Asami’s fingers enter her and she could tell Korra was already close by the fluttering of the walls around her fingers. She rushed her way down and Korra’s hand found the back of her hair even before Asami got to her destination.

She kissed the inside of Korra’s thighs as her fingers kept a slow rhythm, reveling in the small hitched breaths Korra was releasing every time teeth found her sensible skin. Korra’s grip tightened around her hair and Asami decided to stop the teasing. She increased the rhythm of her fingers, as her tongue found Korra’s clit and the sound that greeted her ears was close to obscene, Asami opened her eyes, smirking, knowing she would find Korra’s eyes on her face. “Fuck, Asami. I missed this so much.” Asami closed her eyes again as Korra’s grip released the back of her head, traveling higher to the upper part of Asami’s face - the one that wasn’t currently buried on her -, her fingers caressing her hair while her thumb touched her face. “I missed you so much.” This time it was more of a moan than a sentence, as Asami felt Korra’s orgasm around her fingers, and soon after, on her tongue. She opened her eyes to watch Korra’s closed eyes and mouth agape, breath suspended for a few moments before her body shook harshly and she released a cry that would have woken the whole building if Korra hadn’t used her arm to muffle the sound.

Being loved by Korra again felt like coming home after a hard day at work. Feeling Korra renewed energy after her orgasm as she kissed her roughly and rolled them on the bed, like that first glass of cold water you drink as soon as you get home. The weight of Korra’s body on top of hers, bringing relaxation akin to what you feel when you plop down on your couch after ridding yourself of your shoes. Feeling Korra’s lustful eyes on hers and down her body, her lips sucked between her teeth, a confident smile fighting its way through felt like the hot water of your shower hitting your back, soaking your hair and cleaning your face.

Asami felt control slipping her grasp, welcomely, as she felt Korra’s lips on hers, taking a wicked satisfaction at the thought of Korra tasting herself on her mouth. She let her nails mark Korra’s skin red as her mouth sucked her nipple, kissing, licking, feeling worshiped in a way only Korra made her feel. She wrapped one of her legs around Korra’s waist, nonchalantly grinding her body up, as her hands ran through Korra’s hair, pulling her higher, her mouth on her ex ear. “I want to feel you.”

Korra searched her eyes, her eyebrows raised, smirking lips and Asami could see that she was pondering taking her revenge on the teasing from earlier. But she knew Korra had always been weak when it came to pleasing her, so she brushed their lips lightly and tried again, squeezing the leg around Korra’s waist. “Please, Korra, I need you.” She knew she had won when she felt Korra’s teeth bite hard on her bottom lips, but the moment she felt Korra’s fingers entering her, she lost the ability to feel smug.

Korra was putting her weight behind each thrust and after a few of them, Asami was a moaning mess, because Korra knew exactly how to touch her to make her so. She knew Asami liked it rough and slow. She knew how many fingers to use and how to curl them and how much pressure to put on the heel of her hand as it brushed her clit. She knew what to whisper in Asami’s ear and that her moans made Asami see stars behind her eyelids.

Asami’s sight went black before going white as she felt Korra’s tongue on her nipple once again, her teeth grazing over it when her orgasm found her, sharp and mind-wrecking, as her breath caught on her throat and she lost her senses from everything else but Korra’s fingers, wavy movements guiding her down from her high.

Blinking her eyes open, she found Korra looking down on her with a smile that was at the same time fond and smug. Asami decided she would kiss it out of her face just for the sake of it, even though she found it beautiful, even though loved that she was the reason for it being there in the first place.

She kept her eyes closed as she felt Korra trailing kisses down her neck, to her chest. She recognized the pattern Korra was following as she left wet kissed on each one of her birthmarks there. Her breath hitched at the realization, her heart constricting as the sensation brought her a sense of _deja vu_ . She could recognize the pattern without using her eyes because she had seen it _so many_ times before. This was so undeniably Korra, and as she felt Korra’s lips touch the mole on the left corner of her chest, almost on her left arm, her mind was spinning with doubts, once again. It was spinning, because they hadn’t finished their talk, and she didn’t know what this _meant_ for them. It was spinning because having Korra around her arms felt like finding a missing piece of a puzzle. It was spinning because as she felt Korra’s head resting on her chest and heard the ease sigh she released, she couldn’t help, for the sake of her sanity, to feel in love.

Was that what this was? Was she in love with Korra still? Or was it just a relapse? It didn’t feel like one. It felt like so much more. It felt exactly like love was supposed to. But what did it mean for them? Had they been too fast on giving up on each other. And more importantly, what did this mean for _her_ ? Did she want this? Did _Korra_ want this? Did-.

“I can almost hear you freaking out,” Korra said and her voice was a mix of worry and amusement. “You’re not alone in this. You can talk to me.” She felt Korra rearranging her body, so she could see Asami’s face, using her arm to hold herself up.

Asami opened her eyes to find Korra’s looking down at her, the sight was familiar like looking in a mirror and she took strength from it. “Do you know what this means?” She asked Korra, tired of trying to figure it out by herself.

Her ex-girlfriend took a deep breath, her eyes traveling everywhere, but not in an evasive way. It was more like she was searching for the answer outwardly. And failing, apparently, as she pierced her lips and shook her head. “I don’t know.” Asami knew she was being honest. Korra brought one of her hands to Asami’s cheek. Her thumb caressing her as Asami leaned into the touch. “But I’m willing to find out.” It sounded like a confession and like an invitation at the same time and Asami knew. _She knew_ what it meant and at that moment, it was like something had clicked inside of her. Every second of the last eighteen to nineteen months, when Asami had convinced herself that she was ok, that she didn’t love Korra anymore, that she had been over her. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if she had been, or if she was just fooling herself. All those months had come and gone, they had served their purpose and brought them to this moment. “Aren’t ya?”

She knew that if she confirmed Korra’s question, it wouldn’t mean they would be together again, in a definitive sense, they wouldn’t go back to living together and back to the life they were building one and a half years ago, they wouldn’t pick it up from where they had left it. She knew it would have to be like a new beginning rather than a continuation, because those people, that Korra and that Asami, were no more. And she was ok with it, maybe even glad about it. Because she felt like a different person, she had changed a lot in that time, she had thought a lot about the reasons they had broken up, and her views on relationships had changed a lot since. And those changes, that _growth_ would be vital if they were to build something together again, if they were to not repeat their mistakes. So, “Yes. Yes, I’m willing to figure it out.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a thing for backpacker Korra, apparently? Oh well.  
> Anyways, let me know what you think guys, I'm feeling chatty, as always


End file.
